Guys, still in the dark about how to make your sex life sizzle? Men’s Health gives several tips on how to keep your relationship hot, including some on sex fantasies and off-bedroom rapport building.
I like tips number 1 and 4 (I’m sure you can tell why)
1. Play Games with Her
Boosting her dopamine levels outside of the bedroom could pay dividends between the sheets. “Your brain can’t differentiate between the external anxiety caused by a novel situation and the internal anxiety caused by being attracted to someone,” says Victoria Zdrok, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist (and former Playboy playmate—wowza). “A boost outside of the bedroom can carry over for when it matters most.”4. Let Her Lead You
It pays to be her sexual party doll every now and then. A study at the University of Michigan found that female rats receive a dopamine boost (there it is again—the euphoria-inducing neurotransmitter) only when they control sex. But don’t just offer her the blow-up valve. “Make sure she’s not just hearing ‘Do me the way I want to be done,’ ” says sex therapist Gloria Brame, Ph.D., author of Come Hither.Instead, Brame suggests role-playing a scenario (76 percent of women surveyed by Men’s Health said they’d be game for a little playacting) in which she’s in a position of authority and you’re the sexual novice. The fantasies women said they liked most: professor/student and nurse/patient.
Men have been conditioned (or programmed) to think they should always lead during sex. It’s true in most cases, even when a guy allows a woman to go on top or allows her to suck him off during blowjob. Do guys know how to surrender control? I mean, really?
If you’ve never tried letting your girlfriend just take control of the pace, the position and the sucking, I suggest you do so. A lot of women want to experiment with positions and sex fantasies, but they can’t because they’re with men who always take the lead.
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This is so true! I get so much more sexually aggressive when I feel like I’m in control, and it really makes the sex so much better for both me and him too. I get more wet and produce more liquid, so it makes everything warmer and gushier. Why can’t more men let this happen? Give the lady a chance to drive.