The blame game that follows a failed orgasm can be defined according to what the man and the woman think happened that prevented female climax. It’s easy to blame it all on the man by saying he doesn’t know how to make love to a woman properly, but are women really off the hook? The following are the 3 mistakes that women make during sex that prevents them from consistently achieving orgasm during intercourse:
1. Some women don’t know what turns them on
Tuning in to your body’s reactions to several stimuli could spell the difference between feeling exquisite pleasure during sex and faking orgasm (again). No, you don’t have to expend too much creative energy to realize what floats your boat, you just have to observe how you react to everyday events like blushing during lunch time when the cute waiter brought you your lunch, or feeling delight at the way the soft silk of your new dress felt on your body during dinner. Your responses to “mundane” things provide clues to what will make you climax over and over during sex.
2. Some women don’t understand their bodies
I wish I could simply dish out a step by step on how to climax but I can only provide pointers and guidelines that you can try on your own or with your partner. Why can’t I provide a step-by-step? It’s because women are built differently. What is pleasurable to me could be boring to you and vice versa. What I can do is recommend some recommendations on how you can explore your own sexuality, to finally zero in on what really makes your body light up like a bulb during sex. Your hot buttons are there. They just need to be discovered.
3. Some women don’t take charge of their own orgasm
Your partner, the wonderful man who can turn you on just by kissing and fondling, can only do so much during sex before his instinct to find his own pleasure takes over. The pressure to orgasm is high among men, mainly because orgasm has always been the culmination of sex for them. The more considerate ones wait until you have had your share of the pleasure and most will even ask directly “did you cum, hon?”, before going for their own pleasure.
It’s easy for men to climax because the constant rubbing of the penis on the vaginal wall, which normally happens during penetration. Women, on the other hand, need to get stimulated mentally, physically, psychologically and emotionally before they can climax.
Taking charge of your orgasm means learning about your sexuality and shedding the limiting beliefs that keep you from really feeling pleasure during sex (I’m not sexy enough, I can’t hide my gut, the lights are open all the time, my pussy looks ugly… etc.). This “orgasm responsibility” means experimenting on your own, touching yourself to find your pleasure spots and looking for ways to make your body respond to every sensual event that happens during sex.
