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This Valentine’s article on The Independent elaborated on desire and what women really want. Is it any wonder that Prof. Chiver’s ground breaking research results took center stage once again?
And the weird thing was, they didn’t even know it – or at least, what the women said was turning them on was far removed from reports coming from their nether regions.
This wasn’t the first study that exposed the complexity of female sexuality. “There’s definitely a mind/body disconnect in women,” says Mary Roach, the author of Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex. “One researcher found that women will say that they prefer female-centered porn, instead of the stag porn where the guy is banging away. But when you measure their blood volume, the level of arousal is the same. So the whole thing is just more subtle.”‘
It hardly seems groundbreaking that the sight of a flaccid penis failed to set the women on fire. And is it any surprise that women look at womens’ bodies as much as men do? We are raised practically from birth to look at naked women as sex objects. I’m not surprised that they turn us on.
But I am thrilled that Prof Chivers is looking for answers without having to resort to drastic measures. After all, history hasn’t always been so kind to sexually frustrated women. In her book, Roach describes how Marie Bonaparte (the great-grand-niece of Napoleon) was frustrated by her inability to climax during intercourse. She thought her lack of stimulation had something to do with clitoral-vaginal distance. So instead of changing sexual positions, she measured herself, and other women – and went so far as to have a doctor operate on her. Sadly, it didn’t work. Read more.
The article also mentioned Freud, who single-handedly confused generations of women about what turns them on and what makes them hot. And, amidst the discussion came the question, is desire something that is equivalent to the physiological functions like lubrication and stiffening of the penis? Is that all there is to it?
I do agree that desire has many facets, but one of the most important ones right now (at least on this blog) is to find out what makes women succumb to sexual pleasure without being judged for the morality of their thoughts and the actions they do to achieve female orgasm.
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I truly believe that every woman’s weakness is being told exactly what she wants to here. Therefore, I feel as though telling her what she wants to hear will allow her succumb to her sexual desires.